August 7, 2012

  • Onward … and hopeful

    Yesterday was the 1 month anniversary with my new boyfriend. I never really announced it here, as Facebook seems to be where our mutual friends are. But also, I suppose it’s just me being cautious. I met him in Diablo 3 (thank you blizzard) and he’s really an amazing guy. I can honestly say I love him. We have a lot of things to work through… well one thing… distance. But he inspires me to do better. I’ve lost 20 pounds in the last month… and over 60 pounds since January. (I met him in June) I’m pretty sure I’d have binged and been unhealthy had I not met him, but after a talk we had about his struggles with food, I’ve not stepped backwards once. He’s an amazing guy, I just wish I was closer to him. He’s in NC, ironically. In the Army at Fort Bragg. I can’t wait to see him again! 


    Gonna try my best to post daily, even if it’s just a food/calorie post..or a ‘hey I farted today and it made me laugh’ blog. ;) I suppose I never really change, huh.

March 1, 2012

  • Moving along

    SO boy moved out.. boy moved in.. boy lied a lot.. and boy is gone.. however, I am going to the Philippines tomorrow, so I think… it’s ok. :)  

November 13, 2011

  • A Boy…

    I’ve Met a Boy..

    I like him a lot…. and if all goes as planned, he’ll be moving in next month. wtf am I doing?!?! I’m unsure if I’m being more grown up or completely immature. I honestly don’t care at the moment. :)



June 28, 2011

  • Dear Mom, 

    Another year.  Doing well, not completely happy with where I am, but very few are. However I’m still doing what needs to be done and taking care of everything that needs to be taken care of. It’s starting to grow old, like me. I’ve no great words or insights right now, just a thank you for giving me what I needed to make it to where I am. 

    I love and miss you, every day.

    Love, Tah.



March 27, 2011

  • New Hair

    Well, it’s my same hair, just trying something new.

    I went more red (4 months ago I had added a few red streak).. a bit more daring than before.. I am happy tho, I feel… sassy. Maybe it’s a pre-midlife crisis. I dunno. Regardless, I’m still alive and mostly kickin.






February 14, 2011

July 31, 2010


    Finding Neverland

    Still looking but getting closer.

    I just finished watching ‘Finding Neverland’. I had no idea how sad a movie it would be, but also how appropriate for how I’ve been feeling. My mom has been on my mind a lot lately, much more so than usual. That’s saying a lot since she’s always on my mind. Watching this movie hit directly on how I feel. I was left crying on the sofa, asking in my head why I haven’t moved past losing her after so long, why things keep playing on repeat. Why was it so hard… etc etc.  The last few lines of the movie say something to the effect “she’s on every page of your imagination… she’s in Neverland and you can visit her any time you like” Then the little boy looks in the distance and says he can see her.  I saw my mothers hand then.  And as I’m crying like a baby…. I’m talking to her in my head and my inside voice tells her how much I miss her and suddenly the hurt stops, I hear in my head “I know, darling” and it all just… stops… and I suddenly can breath again and the crying stops. This is how I know she’s with me. What a gift moments like these are. Those definitive moments of certainty that you KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, what you can’t see is real. And while they’re so very rare, they’re enough to carry you on until you need them again. Thank you.

July 24, 2010


    Blast From The Past 

    ’93, the World’s My Oyster… or maybe just a clam.

    So I found some high school friends via facebook,  and was sent some pictures from graduation. Lets see if you can pick me out. It shouldn’t be too hard. I was 17 years old, I can barely remember anything from those times, but I do remember the 1st picture. Wish I could go back with what I know now. The world would be a different place and so would I.  Also, notice the cool peace sign the dude in the 1st picture is rockin. It was all the rage! 

July 18, 2010


    Relaxing Weekend 

    Can’t complain… much.

    Not a lot has been happening, work and weekends… rinse repeat. My sunburn is getting better but I have pin points of pain every so often where nerves are waking up. On the plus side, I look human again and my natural unhealthy pallor is returning (except the shoulders are still quite red). However I got eaten up by bugs during the 4th of July celebrations. (icky leg picture below), but I have no one to impress so I don’t really care. It’s not too itchy, and it’s getting better, slowly. I’ve been keeping it sprayed down with a water/tea tree oil mix, which seems to help a lot.  In celebration of the burn going away, I had a few friends over for a mini party. Nothing special for dinner, just taco salad but we had some good cheap wines and I made a wonderful chocolate mousse for dessert. All in all a nice weekend hope you all had one as well.




June 30, 2010


    Burn Baby Burn? 

    St. Louis Pride and Punishment…. ?


    So I inadvertently did something very stupid. But I’ll get to that in a moment.

    I went to the Pride Parade in St. Louis with my friend (he is gay) from work and all the friends I’ve met via him. They all happen to be gay, go figure! We’ve been talking about a trip to St. Louis for a few months, as he’s originally from there. So he and his friends invited me to Pride.We went to see the Archers, of course.There was a random wedding party at the base, they were quite lovely. The water is VERY high. People are supposed to be able to get to the Helipad for tours. And I was… pale.

    We had a blast, my friends here are awesome. We went to Pasta House Company for dinner, I saw the arch, went up in it (however it took waaaaaayyyyyy too long.. got there at 7, not able to go up till 8:40 and wasn’t able to get down till 10pm… scary, huh?) Had fun regardless. My friend Jeremy made a pretty dress out of his bed sheet (he was next door, I shared a room with my coworker friend and his boyfriend). I thought Jeremy had a pretty bow. Also Jeremy’s man, whose name also happens to be Jeremy, totally looks better in my outfit than I do.


    The next day was Pride (Sunday) so we grabbed breakfast at Courtesy Diner, some hole in the wall place with great food… and headed to some park near the main
    street where the Parade would be.


    I figured we’d get very close, however it was about a 20 min walk (felt so much longer, Sunday was HORRIBLY hot and humid down there). I was miserable and my hair was dripping wet. So I put it up in a bun with my scrunchy to let it dry a bit. Now mind you, I’d only put sunblock on my face and arms (pre-sweating) We thought we’d be there for an hour or so max. Ended up being 3 + hours. There were a ton of beautiful and interesting people there and some very cool sites to see.


    I had a lot of fun, people were awesome… found a tattoo I love, I think I want something similar. Can one have more than 1 phoenix tattoo?

    I lost my cellphone, fell out of my purse, however a nice person turned it in to the security, immediately and I got it back. Gave them my favorite set of beeds I collected from the Parade. To celebrate my found phone, I had a coconut drink, carved to look like a monkey.

    I also met a nice lady with a pretty snake while I waited for afore mentioned monkey drink.

    After the 100000 mile walk back to the car I looked pretty miserable.


    Finally we made it to Imo’s (pronounced emo’s apparently… no the pizza’s were not covered in black olives and they did not cut themselves). I was thanking the Creator left and right for the Air Conditioning and Ice Water tho. The red was really setting in but I was cooler from being inside.

    On the way home, we saw some neat storms around us but never ON us. 


    I had to go to Urgent Care on Tuesday, the burn had progressed so badly I had blisters on my shoulders… not just a few but well over 100, that were tiny and fewer on Monday but by Tuesday they expanded  and were pushing together. Doctor gave me Prednizone, Hydrocodone &  Atarax. I popped a few (just 3 of the many) of the blisters yesterday and tonight (I know it’s bad but they were gonna pop while I slept, and I was able to open them cleanly and clean the area properly.. also was unable to move my arm till after they were opened). Tonight I’m very drugged and very happy… and I actually have my hair down for the 1st time since.. Sunday.



    That’s it … as I’ve fallen asleep maybe 12 times trying to post this.  The last pics were done with my new web cam.. so clear (but smaller). 


    Hope you’re well and remember.. sunblock.