I made it to IL.... mostly settled in my apartment... not unpacked everything yet. Been here 7 days so far. The apartment is larger than I remembered, so I have lots of space to fill. Work is ok, trying to fit in. I have my own office now, which is neat, however I was looking forward to share the space with Bill, a cool coworker.

I'm being a neat freak, which is sorta nice. I've tons of closet space with nothing to put in them. Maybe I could hide my unpacked boxes in there... sorta defeats the neat freak idea tho.

My car's making a funny sound. My brother was driving it the entire time I was gone.. so dunno when it started. Or if it was from the trip up, we had it on a car carrier.

I'll post some pictures when I can... hope you're all well.

I will be moving to IL on Friday, barring anything major happening. I was initially excited about this but ... I wish I could just .. stay home and .. be.  Be what? I dunno.. just be. I'm dreading the work it takes to move, my new work up there (I feel so under qualified some days, like they'll realize I'm a fake or something). And.. the emotional battle leaving my home of 33 years is tearing me apart. I will be alone there... with little to no support system. If I lock my keys in my car? I have to pay for a locksmith.. no brother to come fix it. No random visits by my sister in law or nephew. No "hey, wanna come over to dinner" at the last minute from my sis in law .. and me being in pajama's and it being ok to say "sure!" and go over in said jammies. Heck, no last minute dinner invites period. No random hugs from my nephew, or lil surprises he'd leave on my doorstep. I used to think I didn't have much here to hold me, but as I see what I'm going to, I realize how very much I had, even without my mom .. or dad.  I'm leaving so much for so little. I just pray it grows to be more. I'm giving it a year in hopes of building some financial padding and maybe falling in love with the place... if it goes badly, I can come home right? Just put away enough for a rental truck to move back.. easy cheesy, right?....  ..... ...... right?..................right?

I had a blast at Blizzcon, but had even more fun exploring Anaheim, seeing new places.. and when I was up north, walking around Napa Valley. I ate the most amazing food. I'll tell you about some of the places at another time, and post some pictures. I gotta get back to packing.

Let me re-brief you of my schedule since the beginning of May. I traveled to Illinois to train/interview for the job I now have, I was there a full week with my boss and my bosses boss. One June 21st, I flew out to Cedar Rapids, IA.. solo. To train a bunch of people I've never met.. I flew out on a Sunday, flew home on Friday. The following Monday, I drove down to Columbus, GA for a week (5 hour drive each way). The Sunday after I returned from GA, I flew back to IL for 2 full weeks, this time I was responsible for 2 coworkers from my home office, getting them to and from the office, fed etc. Well responsible for them for 1 week, as they returned after 5 days. I came home from IL for 1 1/2 weeks, then had to drive back down to Columbus GA on a Wed. returning on Friday. I was home for 1 day, then had to fly back up to IL this past Sunday, and flew back home on Friday evening. I had one day home... and tomorrow... well no, today (in about 3 hours) I'm flying to San Francisco... for a blessed vacation.

Up until this 2nd trip to GA, I've been very ill. Extremely anemic, so much so I was close to needing a transfusion. Female problems I won't detail.. but suffice to say, I was so exhausted that the ceiling was spinning some days, and even eating seemed like too much trouble. I lost around 13 pounds in 8 days. (had to go visit Urgent Care in the 2 week stint in IL and follow up when I got home). I ate.. just not much and I was constantly on my feet moving, which is good. I'm better now, we found a good medication.. but I was this ill for a good 3  months solid and on and off for the last few years.

I did lots of fun things during my traveling, despite feeling horrible. I did some stupid things too... drinking, vicodin (for pain of many types)... and other stuff. But I lived some, and it was memorable.

But now... I'm just looking forward to being away... no family to hound me.. no work deadlines (though I do need to do a little work while I'm gone) I have someone to help me with my luggage.. hold doors.. SIT AT THE TABLE AND EAT WITH ME... I swear.. it was a luxury when I could go eat WITH someone. However, I did experience delivery Chinese food for the first time in my life this past week. It was amazing! I loved it!

Anywho.. I suppose this schedule may be why I've felt so empty... and lonely. And so willing to get out my shell for a little human contact. Just seems when I'm drinking, I have little control over my judgment. Sigh.

I'll be going to Napa Valley for a day then returning to San Francisco for 2 days to explore, rest.. eat good foods. Did I mention rest? Then after the relaxing, I drive down to Anaheim on Wed - Tuesday for more rest/exploring and... Blizzcon.  I'll be seeing Ozzy Osbourne in concert there.. never thought I'd see him. Never listened to him a lot as I grew up, but my brothers did. I actually was very fond of him from his reality show. Found him to be quite cute with his family, it was nice to know they were ... like us .. meaning, not perfect.

Anyway, I should wrap this up.. need to double check my luggage.  Enjoy your week all. And thank you for checkin in with me. <3