May 11, 2008

• Dear Mom, I love you. If you were here, I’d bake you another Carrot Cake… like I did last year. But I really can’t muster the energy to bake one for myself, besides I don’t need the fat/calories. I saw a hydrangea at walmart last week, and had this impulse to buy it for you. I had planned to buy it and plant it for you, but I didn’t. Maybe I’ll do that tomorrow. Allan and Cyndi found out they were going to have a baby in February, but she lost it about 3 weeks after we found out. Robert had a hard time with that at first. He was so happy at the prospect of having a baby brother or sister. If it was a girl, he wanted to name her Mary, after you. I know it’s bad.. but I was a bit sad when I found out them having a baby, it seemed unfair for you to have a grandchild that you’ll never meet. I guess, you met him/her after all. I’ve been taking care of Web’s dog Abby. It’s a Great Dane, about 10 months old now. She’s been with me since he got her. Someone gave her to him, they were in a small apartment and she was way too large @ 6 mo. old to keep. She’s beautiful, sleeps outside my bedroom door and makes me feel a little safer. But when I come in from work, she stays on my bed till I’m ready to sleep. She’s a big baby really.. a gentle giant. It’ll be sad when he finishes building and takes her with him. Ohhh yes, Web’s building his house on the land you’d given him. They started last month, the basement is dug and they’re about to lay the foundation. I think he cut down too many of the trees *even that Dogwood you and I had put a ribbon on to make sure it didn’t get touched*. I know you’d have been annoyed by it, but I’ll help him plant some more. Speaking of trees… I renewed the Arbor Day membership you gave me a few years ago. They’re sending me 10 Red Buds to plant, I’ll give some to Web. Also, for Robert’s birthday, I bought him a membership, with an encylopedia on trees, so he can learn about all the trees you’d tell him about. I’ve not had the time to take care of your garden yet… It seems like such a big job and I’ve no clue what to do… I’ll try and deal with the weeds at least. The tree/bush plant by the power pole is beautiful and full of blooms. Wish I could remember what it’s called. I need to trim down the yellow honeysuckle plant for sure, starting to overtake part of the lower garden. Jeff’s ok I think. He lost his job a month or 2 ago, I’m not entirely sure why, but he’s supposedly found a new one to start next week. I think there’s more going on with him, but I just don’t have the energy to figure it out. I offered him $20/week if he’d pick up my trash and take it to the dump, since he has the pick up and I don’t like loading trash in my car. Also  paying the cell phone bill for him till he gets back on his feet to try to help out. I’m saving up to have the flooring redone. I know how you hated the carpet, I do too really. So it’ll be nice to have hard flooring down. Easier to keep clean and should help cut down on the dust. I’ve already bough a few pretty rugs I found on sale. I think you’d be pleased. Amy… well she’s Amy.. She’s accusing some drug dealers she was having a 3 day drug party with of “abusing/raping” her. All she remember was taking lots of drugs, and having bruising under her clothing and some pain when she woke up. But she won’t press charges. Also she admits to sleeping with someone else the day after it happened. Also, also… I think she’d been having sexual relationships with one or both of the drug  guys prior. So who knows. I think she was more upset they took her money… which was probably to pay for the drugs she was taking. I’ve sorta written her off now. Madison and Morgan are great. Madison won 1st place in some scholastic contest, and went to State competition, however she placed 8/11 at State. I was still very proud of her. She also got straight A’s this report card. Morgan got one C but the rest A’s and B’s. I’m not sure what happened on the C. Robert got an A in citizenship too! Who’d have expected that? The teacher told him she thought she saw something special in him, despite some poor recent behavior.. and gave him an A. He was very proud of that. I’m trying very hard to keep doing the things I’m supposed to do. I’ve got money in the bank, after paying bills.. and I won a Wii at work last week. But I still am not happy or content with anything. I’m just following motions. But I keep trying, in hopes it’ll be for something some day. Lately, it just seems like it’s always going to be this way. That prospect is pretty bleak to say the least. I’m sorry I won’t make it out to the cemetary today, Web’s going out there now, I just want to stay home today.. be surrounded by you. I love you, Mom. And I miss you more than words can ever describe. Happy Morther’s Day.

  • 6:22 pm
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