I just finished watching ‘Finding Neverland’. I had no idea how sad a movie it would be, but also how appropriate for how I’ve been feeling. My mom has been on my mind a lot lately, much more so than usual. That’s saying a lot since she’s always on my mind. Watching this movie hit directly on how I feel. I was left crying on the sofa, asking in my head why I haven’t moved past losing her after so long, why things keep playing on repeat. Why was it so hard… etc etc.  The last few lines of the movie say something to the effect “she’s on every page of your imagination… she’s in Neverland and you can visit her any time you like” Then the little boy looks in the distance and says he can see her.  I saw my mothers hand then.  And as I’m crying like a baby…. I’m talking to her in my head and my inside voice tells her how much I miss her and suddenly the hurt stops, I hear in my head “I know, darling” and it all just… stops… and I suddenly can breath again and the crying stops. This is how I know she’s with me. What a gift moments like these are. Those definitive moments of certainty that you KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, what you can’t see is real. And while they’re so very rare, they’re enough to carry you on until you need them again. Thank you.

So I found some high school friends via facebook,  and was sent some pictures from graduation. Lets see if you can pick me out. It shouldn’t be too hard. I was 17 years old, I can barely remember anything from those times, but I do remember the 1st picture. Wish I could go back with what I know now. The world would be a different place and so would I.  Also, notice the cool peace sign the dude in the 1st picture is rockin. It was all the rage! 

Not a lot has been happening, work and weekends… rinse repeat. My sunburn is getting better but I have pin points of pain every so often where nerves are waking up. On the plus side, I look human again and my natural unhealthy pallor is returning (except the shoulders are still quite red). However I got eaten up by bugs during the 4th of July celebrations. (icky leg picture below), but I have no one to impress so I don’t really care. It’s not too itchy, and it’s getting better, slowly. I’ve been keeping it sprayed down with a water/tea tree oil mix, which seems to help a lot.  In celebration of the burn going away, I had a few friends over for a mini party. Nothing special for dinner, just taco salad but we had some good cheap wines and I made a wonderful chocolate mousse for dessert. All in all a nice weekend hope you all had one as well.