February 6, 2009

• Strength of a Child… Robert is my nephew.. he’s 11 going on 30. I love him more than anything in this world. While he has a temper (like his aunt) he’s an amazing child and has more strength than any child should have to have. Let me give you a brief run down of the last 3 years. In June of 2006, my mom and I made sudden decision to go to Arkansas so we could visit my grandma (her mom and last living parent). We took my nephew with us because my mom really wanted to take one of her grandkids so they could spend time with their great grandma. My nieces mom wouldn’t let them come, so Robert gets to go with us. It was a great trip, we had fun and Robert was a joy… My grandmothers face would light up every time she saw him. She wasn’t sure who he was but she saw a child and she was so happy, she loved children so much.. and when she looked at mom, she glowed. It was .. the most joyful smile I’ve ever seen in my entire life. She’d grab her arm and smile and say “that’s my baby”… and it was like she’d immediately clear up, knowing she was looking at her daughter, and knowing it’d been a long time since we’d been there. She didn’t recognize me so much.. but she was happy to see me too. Two days after we got home, my grandma died.  No warning, she’d just been taken to the hospital for a bladder infection… they were sending her home, my uncle went to sign papers and came back and she died. I believe she was waiting for my mom… and finally was able to rest. Fast forward 1 year and a few days. My nephew was at summer camp, and was feeling sick, so my sister in law calls my Mom to go pick him up and take him to Urgent Care.. on the way home, about 50 yards from my nephews house (100 yards from my house) my mom crashes into the ditch, flips her truck, is thrown under it as it landed on top of her. Robert had to crawl over her pinned body to get out.. my Mom died. Robert was fine, except for scratches and sadness. He didn’t cry at all. Fast forward about 8 months, we find out my sister in law is pregnant. We’re all ecstatic, as we feel this will some how reconnect us with Mom.. as she surely has been with this little soul in heaven or wherever our souls rest before coming to earth. Robert was so happy, as he always wanted a little brother or sister. And he was sure my mom was a part of this new baby. He decided that if it was a girl, we should name her Mary, after my mom. 2 months later, she has a miscarriage. Robert didn’t cry.. he was sad, but understood things happen for a reason. And that the baby may have been very sick had it come to term. Fast forward about 3 months or so. My sister in laws dad (Roberts grandad) had been dealing with heart/blood pressure issues for the last few years, and the past year it was getting worse and worse. He was taken to the ER and just hours later he died. Robert didn’t either.. he was sad but he was glad his pa pah could be with his meme & the baby that was never born in heaven and not be hurting anymore. Fast forward .. to yesterday. Robert’s house burned down. The dryer caught fire and in around 3 minutes it’d taken over the laundry room and spread into the living room/foyer/kitchen. Everyone was ok, the animals got out safely (except the fish). They got the fire under control fast.. but they have to completely cut the house. Everything is covered in smoke.. he only got out with the clothes on his back, his teddy bear and his violin. Some of the furniture will be able to be saved.. some of the pictures, but many of the special things he’s made over the years, stuff my mom gave him that was displayed on the entertainment center, his prized play station 2, his laptop which he just started playing WoW with me on (he’s been begging for years and his parents finally let him a few days ago).. all gone. He didn’t cry once. He was just glad that his cat was ok (we thought he was lost in the cold but found him this morning). And he enjoyed going swimming in the pool at the hotel they Red Cross put them up in last night/tonight. I find myself thinking about Robert… and what an amazing child he is. I still cry at least once a week, if not once a day about Mom.. and how rough my life is now. I feel sorry for myself often, wishing I could just go away.. give up.. be somewhere else. Then I think, if Robert can be so strong, why can’t I? He’s lost so much, for such a small child. He keeps me going.. he’s an inspiration. And he helps me keep things in perspective. When I grow up, I want to be more like him.

  • 12:58 am
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